Dear Miss Emily:

I have been dating my lovely girlfriend for almost 2 and a half years. We've been through a spectrum of problems, almost all have been worked out. However, she says she "likes to have her own social life" which translates into "I want to party without you." She has no problem having me over to her house just me and her to watch movies (half the time when she's hung over and doesn't feel well from going out the night before). I try to understand and give her the space she wants, but I'm starting to feel bad about myself because of it. She has recently taken to kicking me out early because she's tired, but she ends up going out and partying until 3 AM. I try not to take it personally because she tells me it's just because she "catches a second wind" and can't sleep. I don't know what to think or do. I love her to death and I don't think she's cheating, but I also am getting anxious about the whole thing.  I am lost.

----------------Miss Emily's advice--------------

You're lost, because you can't face the truth.  You are looking for an excuse for her bad behavior other than what seems to be obvious:  She's probably an alcoholic who only has fun with her drinking buddies, and she doesn't have enough respect for you (or herself) to include you in her other life.  Bottom line:  Boozehound or not, she thinks you don't fit in.  No couple needs to be joined at the hip, and some independence is good.  But your situation with her is outright stupid, and the longer you put up with it the more pathetic your position.  I'd give her the freedom to "party hearty" and stipulate that she will now be doing it with no encumbrance -- and that means no boyfriend.