Dear Miss Emily: I have been in a relationship for several months. We both have 2 divorces under our belts. My last 2 years ago, his last 1 year ago. The relationship has been very private. We have been very close friends for years and don't want people jumping to wrong conclusions about why our marriages ended. We talked a few weeks ago about making it more public. He loves my optimism but is afraid that he's not quite ready. He is still reeling from his divorce and not sure where he stands as far as liking himself. He can be a very solitary person. I am afraid that by discussing it, I have scared him. I know he loves me and I know he knows that we are and would be great together. How do I best help him as he struggles for answers? -------------Miss Emily's advice----------- You have only been together for a few months, and I believe it's important to give this relationship the time it deserves in order to get things right. Neither of you owe any explanation to anyone about seeing each other, however. It's no one's business, and people can get ugly no matter how you play it. Tell him you are more than willing to wait for a better time to reveal your relationship, because you love him and you are a reasonable individual. In time, if the wait becomes beyond reason, then you can decide if you want to invest any more time living a life that requires you to lie to your family and friends. You are under no obligation to accept these terms ad nauseam.