Dear Miss Emily:

 I met this girl about 2 weeks ago, at a friend's gathering. We started chatting and hit it off. She told our mutual friend that she really likes me, and I ended up driving her home and exchanging numbers and setting a dinner date for the following Thurs. Had a GREAT first date. Huge chemistry and a ton in common -- which only got deeper as time went on -- a hug and a innocent kiss goodnight. On the Saturday, went with the mutual friend to visit her at the bar she works, part time, at and she was all smiles. All the girls said she couldn't stop talking about the "guy" she met and told our friend that she feels all giddy and she can't remember feeling this way for a long time. Chatted with her the next night on the phone and we set up date 2. Went out on date 2 on the Tuesday. Had a great night ended at a romantic little wine bar sharing stories laughing -- some definite physical flirting. She said we should check out the farmers market on the Sunday and I suggested we go for a hike (which she is into).  She made me aware of the amount of school work she had to do, and that wouldn't work for her. Date ended with a small kiss. Our mutual friend ended up having us over for dinner on Sunday (which I had brought a small gift I had made for her which she loved) and, again, it was all smiles. We ended up going out, the 3 of us, to the bar she worked at and we had a blast. Again, some physical flirting and she even called me baby. She had also told her friend, that night, how she loves that she can be "herself" around me and that she likes I am not the type of person who always has to be beside her, etc. Also, she mentioned that I hoped I understand how busy her schedule was with work and 4 courses in school, etc. -- which I totally do. We chatted about some stuff and ended up setting up a third date for this Thursday. We all ended back at our friends house and stayed over all in separate beds as the hot tub had taken the toll on our bodies and the drinks we had consumed. Got up next morning (Monday), cooked breakfast, and we all went our ways. I left by saying I would see her Thursday, and she put her arms around me for a huge hug. Sent her a text, today, saying that I hope she is having a great day and she sent one back thank you and you too, good luck with you meeting. Three hours later I get this text. (Hey, sorry Thurs isn't going to work for me. I am super overwhelmed with school right now, this last month is crunch time.) To which I responded: I understand timing is off....no worries. I rather enjoyed spending time with you and would really enjoy seeing you, again, so do give me a call when things aren't so crazy for you  -- keep in touch.  She responded with:  I did too. I will for sure! Have a great week!  I talked to our mutual friend and she said that she knew she was super busy as she had a hard time getting a hold of her, and that at least she didn't say she didn't have feelings for me?????  So now I am sooooo confused on what happened here. I totally understand just how busy she is, but why get so into it just to pull the plug? What are your thoughts, opinions? what is my next move? What happened here!!!!  Is this something that will come around?  Is this just an honest, "I am really too busy right now" or is it a "I am not interested anymore"?

-------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------

I think it's too early to tell if she's backing off.  I don't think she wants any strong involvement, at this time, because working and school pretty much dictate her life.  Avoid getting defensive about this.  I can't get into her head, but from what you've told me, it doesn't spell pulling the plug on future dates. And that really is where it stands, right now -- you had a few casual dates.  I admire her ability to set priorities, but I know your frustration -- you have the time, and that means plenty of time to think about how great she is and how you want to see her -- a lot!  Send no flowery communications. "Have a great day" text seems sappy (hope it didn't come with a Happy Face), and begs for a like, kind response.  And literally no flowers or gifts to woo her.  Wait until the beginning of next month (if she hasn't checked in with you), and ask her on a date -- make it something nice, like dinner, but nothing too effusive.  If she declines, you're probably history.  She might see that you are someone who needs more than she can give at this point in her life, or has simply made the decision to put herself, and her present demands before any guy --  the kind of thing that men have always done, and where women are just catching on.