Dear Miss Emily:

I am a 20 year old female that has in a relationship for eight months. My boyfriend and I got in an argument, yesterday, about every issue we have ever had. We resolved a bunch of issues in the end with a mediator's help. My problem now is that, because I thought our relationship was over, I told my family some of the things he had said and because they were taken out of context they came across as much worse than they actually were. I just wanted my family's support in leaving him. However, since we worked out the issues we were having, we are staying together; but my family is now pressuring me to leave him even going so far as to say he is unsafe to be around even though they have never met him. How do I get them to understand that he isn't as bad for me as I made it out to be, and that they have nothing to worry about with me staying with him because he has never done anything to make me fear him.

--------------Miss Emily's advice------------

This is one of those times where you wished you had been rendered mute, before you had the opportunity to spill the truth -- as you saw it.  That said, we humans (and all politicians) love to backtrack and say, "It was taken out of context."  I would have thought you were giving your parents information based on contextual matters but, giving your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, through a filter of anger and feelings of rejection. Since then, you have talked through the reasons he (and you) have said and done some unpleasant things, and you hope to do better in the future to work for greater understanding and trust.  It's a great idea, I hope it works, and I wish you much luck.  That said, your parents think their daughter has been hurt by this man, and they don't like it.  The side they do not see, is any responsibility you now take for the problems you had with him.  It's going to take time for them to believe your new appraisal of this relationship, and you'll just have to wait for that to happen.  Perhaps after they meet him (and this should be a priority), they will back down.  Make it clear to them that you want to give this relationship a try, and you understand their concerns based on your interpretation of events.  When people are angry, they say and do things that are more knee-jerk than thought-out.  If this relationship truly is good for you, in time they will probably see it too.  Next time, a little less information might be wise, until you are absolutely sure of your feelings and the outcome.