Emily,
 
I have been having trouble with a thought and I hope you would have some advice for me. I have been seeing this boyfriend that I am happy with. We met about 1 year ago, but he has been away for about 6 months with the National Guard training. He came home for a few weeks in April, and then had to go over to Iraq. He will be there for about 9 months. Would it be wrong of me to ask where our relationship is going, as far as getting more serious -- like marriage or at least moving in together when he gets home? I know he is in a war right now, and I feel like it would be selfish of me to ask for something like that and just put additional stress on him. I am worried that it's too soon to ask about marriage and I know I don't want to scare him away, either. We haven't even said I love you to each other, yet.  I know that he is a relationship guy, no doubt about that. He prefers to be in a solid relationship. I just don't want to stress him out, and create any sort of problem.  But I also don't want to wait around for nothing.  I'm confused.  Help!
 
--------------Miss Emily's advice------------

I agree, I don't think it's a stellar idea.  I'm not undermining your relationship, but I think it's too soon.  He's in Iraq, and you're right about the added stress. He might be in a situation where he feels compelled to give you an affirmative answer, and it may not be the right one under the Iraqi skies when mortar fire may be the only sound he hears in the background.  "Waiting around for nothing" makes it appear as if marriage is your primary goal, and if he's not willing to commit to something after six months of dating (without so much as an "I love you" to preface it), you'll put yourself back on the "available" list faster than you can say "Bob's your uncle."   That alone, is reason to wait.