"J"

HOPE YOU GET THIS!  I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED YOUR E-MAIL.                                

I'm not going to tell you that you're like every other man.  That's not true.  You know, women have problems like this, too.  I get letters from the ladies with the same issue, and it just proves that love can be a tough, as well as gratifying.  But your problem is you are not ready for any commitment to anyone at this time.  I know it's hard to be honest when the heart wants what the heart wants, but that is a recipe for disaster if you carry on with this deception.  If I were you, I'd get single, after telling your long-time girlfriend you need some time to think.  I'd tell the other girl you are free to spend some time with her, but you are making no promises to anything, because you really don't know what it would be like to be with her on a serious, romantic level.  To be perfectly honest, at the end of the day, you probably won't be with either of these  girls for a lifetime -- because marriage is a big commitment, and the older you get, the more you realize it. In fact, the average age of marrying is getting later and later, these days.  Too much to do, too many options, and too much fun to be had before you settle down. You go into it saying, "Until death do us part."  And yes, I realize you did not plan to marry your girlfriend right away.  But the fact is, you can't be honest about what you want, and it's high time you admit to that -- to them, and to yourself.  Emily