Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. I
recently just had a baby, and I can honestly say I have let
myself go a little. Well, the qustion is, I was looking through
my boyfriend's cell phone and saw that he had met up with an
old "friend" and later had text her saying she looked "Hot"
that day. Now is this appropriate for my boy to say? He says
he was just giving an innocent compliment, but I got
really pissed off at him! Am I just overreacting? Please help!
Unsure
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------


Dear Unsure:

First of all, it's normal to feel insercure about how you look.  You just had a baby, which is a big undertaking.  This man of yours, if he's a decent person, should realize that motherhood is a new and daunting experience and put you and your baby's needs above all else.  Fatherhood is a full time job, too,  if  he chooses to be a willing, active participant  in  raising  the child  you  made  together.  But this takes a  mature man,  who  is  committed to  having a solid relationship with you and a  dedication to being a family.  I'm not sure why you're not  married to him.  Is it because you know that he is unreliable?  You don't think being married is important? He doesn't want to get married?  I'm not passing judgment (I'm not that bitch, Dr, Laura), I just think that if he isn't commitment  material, then his texting an old friend to tell her that she looked hot, would be typical of the type of man who isn't going to stop having fun with the ladies just because he has a child with a woman.  Here's an idea:  Concertrate on the baby, work at getting yourself back to the old you, and if your boyfriend seems not to notice or care, consider making other plans.  A sad thing to think about, now, when you have so much on your plate.  But you should not have to suffer trying to make it work with a man you do not trust, and does not love you enough to stop coming on to other women. You have a child with him, it doesn't mean that you need to spend your life doubting yourself and accepting the role of second-class-citizen.  I may be overreacting, but I get angry, too, when I see a man who might be making a fool out his girlfriend who also happens to be the mother of his child.