Dear Miss Emily:

I have been dating this guy for about 5 months now -- though we stopped going on dates about 2 months ago. First let me tell you a little about him. He is smart, responsible, hard working, self motivated, and so much more. He owns and operates a business of one. He owns and maintains a quite large home and a fair amount of property, by himself.  So as you can see he has his hands full. So that is why he doesn't have time to go places on dates and stuff. So about 3 months in to the relationship, he invited me over to see the house.  Ever since he has made it "at home" dates. Which the date usually consists of helping him work, watching him work, or spending time with his family. Note:  He's been too busy to meet my family, though I have met his twice. I guess what I want to know is should I be concerned? Is he just that busy and I should just learn to deal or live without? Or is it a phase? Am I being unreasonable for wanting to spend more "real" quality time together and go on more dates and get out and do more? I tried to bring the subject up several times but he just gets on talking about all the chores, work, and responsibilities that he has -- that I don't understand or something.  I only see the guy once a week. I only get him to call or email maybe twice a week. So it's not like I take up all his time.  Is it wrong for me to want more? Need advice.

--------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------

Of course it's not wrong to want more.  The problem?  You can't get more.  I believe that this man is a responsible, hardworking guy but, when it comes to you, he's lazy.  Stop making excuses for him.  I hate to use the cliche "It is what it is," but that's the truth about your relationship with him.  You asked for more, and you're not getting it.  I think it boils down to his way, or the highway.  You seem to admire his great qualities, but one thing you are overlooking -- he's selfish.  His big house, his business, his family.  Where do you fit into this?  His occasional, stay-at-home date, who helps him with his business?  You should be collecting a paycheck!  This is not my idea of a good relationship.