Dear Miss Emily:

I'm 26 years old and from the middle east.  I have a relationship with a British guy, and I lost my virginity to him even though I did not want to.  I feel he used me like a game and, when I try to discuss that, he keeps saying you don't understand me and you're overreacting -- and because my younger brother lives with me, he doesn't like that and used to say you're 26 and you're afraid because of what your brother has said. Yesterday, and even today, I was out and I saw him in a night club dancing and having fun, and when I call him he doesn't answer.  Then he told me he didn't except to sit at home while I was out with my brother.  Today, he told me he was busy and I saw him in a nightclub, as well.  He said that here in England every one goes out and has fun, and I'm jealous.  Please help me.  I lost my judgment and my logic.  I feel stupid.  Is he playing with me or what?

-------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------

If your problem is that you don't understand Western ways, I would suggest you try to in order to keep from feeling victimized.  Sleeping with this guy was a choice you made.  Obviously, he doesn't seem to see things your way regarding commitment, and now you have to take his behavior at face value.  In the future, don't let any man dictate what you do with your body, and settle for chalking this up to a learning experience.  You are 26, and it's not too late to readjust your thinking.  You are in charge of your life, and it requires you to make choices that are right for you -- and not for some guy who has proved he likes to party hearty in pubs rather than take your feelings into consideration.  Next time, give it a while to develop a trusting relationship before you expect any loyalty.  This doesn't insure success, every time, but it's better than a shot in the dark.  I know, he came on like he really cared, and maybe he does in his way.  But it's not your way, and you should stick to a belief system that doesn't compromise your values.  My best advice?  Give him the boot.