Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend and I met when we were 16 and 17 years old, and stayed together for 4 years. We spent every second together every day. We went through some rough times at the end, and I found out he cheated on me. We broke up and soon after I got into a serious (rebound) relationship with someone else. He went crazy and was REALLY hurt by this. I stayed with the "new guy" for 10 months. Now me my old boyfriend are back together and I just want to make sure I should trust him again.  He has cried and cried and cried and told me that I broke his heart, and he was young and dumb and learned a good lesson really quickly. He told me that the feeling he got afterward made him so sick he would never go through that again. I believe him, however, I worry that later down that road, after the excitement of us being back together wears off, he will stray again. We are 21 and 22, now, so I do believe he could have learned his lesson.  I just need help forgiving him because I know we are perfect for each other -- minus this problem. He AND I BOTH want to get married next summer, because now we know we are nothing without each other. This old cheating stuff is my only concern. What he did was make out with this girl a couple times...then he took her to his house and when "sex" was about to begin, he stopped it and took her home then never talked to her again (so he says).  She says they actually had sex, but confirmed that he never talked to her again.  She hates me though, so she would most definitely lie...plus she is one of those girls who gets mad if she doesn't get the guy she wants -- so another reason for her to lie, as well. He told me the truth about everything, so I do not know why he wouldn't confirm the sex part? Anyways looking forward to your advice!  PS:  We are moving in together, soon.

-------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------

You are moving in together and it will give you time to continue to work on your trust issues with him but, from where I see it, whether he had sex with this girl or not (and yeah, he probably did, but wouldn't admit it unless he had a gun to his head), he has redeemed himself.  When two people get together as early as you and he did, temptation is out there, and he bit. You had your time with your re-bound guy and that was obviously a bitter pill for him.  His ego was tremendously bruised, and he must have spent many waking nights wishing he could turn back the clock.  I don't know whether in those 10 months you had sex with rebound guy, but you had a relationship, it must have been intimate to some degree, and that really is the truth of it.  "The act" is secondary to the circumstances that surrounded it.  If payback is what you wanted to give, payback he got and, now, it's time to clean the slate.  Start new, cut him some slack, but make sure it's done honestly and, then, forget about it.  If you continue to harbor these feelings, it will eat at you and, possibly, spoil a beautiful relationship. You cannot be absolutely positive that temptation will not strike him in the future, but it could happen to you, as well!  Again, there are few guarantees in life, but you have a good guy, it seems, and he's worth a concerted attempt, on your part, to let this go, once and for all.