Dear Miss Emily:

I would like to know how to get over my ex boyfriend.  I mean, I do hate him because he was really horrible to me, but I still get these stupid feeling -- so I don't know if I still like him. I just want to forget about him and I also told him not to contact me anymore. I did delete his number, but the main problem is that I'm very close friends with his sister-in-law, and she asked me to come out and that and he is sometimes there.  Do you think I should stop visiting my close friend to stay away from him, or not, because every time when I see him, I start to hate him so much for how he treated me, but when I don't see him, I start to feel lonely and, then, start to feel hurt and I think it because of him.  Please help.

------------Miss Emily's advice----------

There's no magic pill you can take that will get you past this, but time will and a desire to look to the future rather than dwell on the past.  You said he was horrible to you, and I believe you but, now, you have to understand that a destructive relationship is degrading and harmful to your self-image.  I know you "hate" him, but that's partly because you hate the fact that you allowed so much of what went on in the relationship.  It makes a statement about you, and it's hard to get past it.  Yes, stay away from him, unless you want to continue this hate fest.  You should be pursuing interests and relationships that keep you busy and support positive feelings of self-worth.  If you are incapable of doing this, nothing I say can help you.