Dear Miss Emily:

So, my ex-boyfriend and I have been working on being friends because we each can't just give each other up completely. He has a new girlfriend (she's a total airhead, but to each his own), but he keeps giving me these off-handed hints that he's not happy with her. Sure, she's the sexual side (she's not anything else, since all they do is sex), but I was the emotional part. For once, I'm over him, but he's not over me. That feels good, to be honest.  But now he's being vague and sort of avoiding me (which is really out of character). Of course, he denies everything and says that he's not doing anything, and I'm the one that's making excuses to leave. He says we have different schedules and that we both have things to do, and our time clashes. He's not avoiding me with a purpose – of course, he would never do that. He just doesn't have anything to talk about with me. He wants a 'real relationship' with me; something to talk about, and a conversation that isn't forced.  Our conversations weren't forced, and he's so vague! I just want to throttle him. I told him that I would have plenty to talk about with him if he would stop being so awkward around me.  I was born with a keen sense of clairvoyance, and it's very, very frustrating for me. Finally, I told him that if he wanted to tell me something, he should just tell me straight out instead of being completely stupid and causing all this unnecessary nonsense.  "What are you talking about? I have nothing to tell you. Do you have something to tell me, because I have nothing to tell you."  I want to be his friend, and we've been working on this.  He and I are really better off as friends, I'll admit it, even if he does confuse me relentlessly and dogs me about reading too much into things. When we were together, he could tell when I wasn't telling the whole truth sometimes. Now I know how he feels.  But I feel like I'm putting in the fifty percent of reaching out to him, and he's not putting anything into it.  Is it just me over analyzing, or is he just jerking me around?

----------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------

I think this friendship “project” might be a little too ambitious at this moment in time.  You know each other very well, and if you broke up with him because you had problems, no doubt it will be a complicated matter trying to start over in a new capacity. Your ex may be straddling a fence with you on one side, and his new girlfriend on the other.  You mention that he's not over you, however you don't say why.  If that's true, that might be the core to his being vague because it puts him in an emotional bind that may be hard to articulate.  Accept the fact that this is an awkward transition in your relationship.  This friendship may not work out, but don’t expedite it by trying to switch gears overnight.  You both need to lighten up and not play the blame game.  Earnest conversation should come when you let things flow, without falling into a trap set by your past with him.