Dear Miss Emily:

I don't know what it is, or why I do this, but my past few relationships, I've broken up with them. And it's basically because I don't feel the same. I don't know why.  I think I might be afraid to let myself  fall in love, or get close to someone because I'm afraid to fall and not be caught and be hurt.  I don't know what I should do.  Every time I get into a relationship my head is filled with confusion. I'm with this guy and he's so sweet, kind, and everything a girl could ask for, but I'm confused and a semi big part of me doesn't want to be with him.  Again, I don't know why.  I'm so confused. What should I do?

----------------Miss Emily's advice--------------

Short of suggesting you might be pursuing the wrong sex, there could be many reasons for why you seem to back-off any promising relationship:  Low self-esteem -- you can't embrace anyone who would treat you well, because you are conditioned to feel unworthy  You may have standards that are next to impossible to meet -- or a critical side that judges these men in terms of being good, but not great.  And, of course, your possible explanation:  You are afraid of getting hurt.  That is a shame because, unless you are willing to take some risk in this area, you will never get to experience the greatest joys that being in love can offer.  You can't be sure your heart won't be broken, but can you be sure of anything, really?  If you look at your past in a realistic manner, you might be able to pinpoint why it is that you cannot commit to a relationship.  It may be divorce in your family, or constant exposure to negative male/female relationships.  I would mention therapy to get to the root of this problem -- if indeed there really is one -- but sometimes cost is a factor, or you might be too scared to get to the bottom of this for fear it will break down strong defense mechanisms.   However, anyone who is as confused as you are in this respect, might want to entertain the idea of counseling.  And finally, it's possible you just aren't ready for a serious relationship, but think there must be something wrong with you, rather than letting yourself off the hook, with a "That's okay.  I have time to get it right," free pass.