Dear Miss Emily:

Here's the problem. My girlfriend's dad is racist. I'm black. He and I once got along but something happened......one of my girlfriend's friends told me that my girlfriend was cheating and screwing other guys behind my back. I have some trust for my girlfriend, but she does act very suspicious at times. She knows she does at times, and she ignores it. When I make really good points about her doing something wrong, she will run away from the situation. I went to her parents about the incident with my girlfriend's friend, saying that my girlfriend has been screwing other guys. The said, I was jealous and the her racist dad told me it was over and "never calls us again."  I was only curious. My girlfriend gets mad cause when I go to her to talk, she wants to ignore it. How can she get mad at me for something she is doing wrong? She and I aren't together, and we still are single but our feelings are still there. I need her and love her and she told me she would sneak calls at night and text me so we could keep in touch. What should I do to earn the respect of her, again, and get my girlfriend/fiance back?

---------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------

I can't tell if you were "black listed" because of your race or what you said to this girl's parents about their daughter!  But does it matter now?  You can't go back and change that, but keep in mind that your suspicions may be right about her.  Trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship, and you simply do not trust her.  In this particular case, you wanting to earn her respect makes you sound wimpy -- as if your accusations toward her are bordering on paranoia rather than any justification.  Now you just want to sweep everything under the table?  It won't be easy and denial is rarely the best route to take.  One day you may wake up and realize that you tried too hard for something that wasn't worth it.  Take time, and do not rush into anything right now.  If it's going to work out, you both will have to grow up and learn the true meaning of the word respect.