Dear Miss Emily:

I have been going out with a man for 6 months.  He asked me to go on a nice vacation.  I just assumed the way he asked, he was paying.  But no, he expected me to pay half.  I honestly can't afford it.  I know he makes much more than I, and could.  I figure if I have to pay myself, I would go with my girlfriends.  Also, if he really wants me to go, he will pay.  Not sure if I am sticking around with the wrong guy.  Your opinion?

--------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------

Women can sometimes be caught between what was and what is when it comes to men  footing the bill.  It's a touchy situation no matter what. Geez, you practically have to be a high-class call girl to get a free vacation these days!  This is a reason for a woman to pay her way.  It puts her in a position of not being resented for lack of contribution, and she maintains a position of equal power which eliminates any feelings of being beholden to him.  Sure, it would be great if this guy offered to pay, because he's just a generous man and money doesn't matter to him all that much.  But in today's world, it does, and there's no getting around it.  If you can't afford it, well, you can't afford it!  But even if you could, you would have to conclude that it's okay for this to be an equal proposition, or there would be too much suppressed anger, on your part, every time you had to pull out the plastic to pay your half of the trip.  Declining to go, might force him to offer to pay, but do you really want it to turn out that way?