Dear Miss Emily:

I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now.  We are both 26 yrs old.  He has a lot of friends who are girls, which is fine if he knew them before I met him (which is the case), but the problem is with some new girls.  He is a real estate agent, so he gets new clients almost ever day and they are mostly girls.  He and some of his female clients add each other on facebook and text message all the time about non-work related things.  Just the other day, I found a message on his facebook that said “you never pick up your phone...food tomorrow?!?!? text me."  I confronted him about this, and he said that he can be friends with girls he meets and he isn’t doing anything wrong.  But he never answers his phone when he is with me, except if its his parents or guy friends, and he text messages all night when we are together.  It’s ridiculous.   Should I trust what he says??   Please help!  This is ruining our relationship.

---------------------------Miss Emily’s advice--------------------

In any trusting relationship, both parties have to be willing to have full disclosure in these matters. If it's all innocent, he's still behaving like a hormonal teenager. Now I know he has every right to have friends who are women, but there seems to be a slight imbalance here.  He should not be avoiding taking their calls in front of you if he has nothing to hide -- and it's disrespectful.  That said, take a look at how you have verbally handled these female friends -- the ones he has had in his life before you came on the scene. Ask yourself, how might this have affected his clandestine behavior?  In no way does that let him off the hook. But you know men, they often lie like a six year-old does to their mommy, when the heat's on.  He’s in real estate, a sales job, and it helps to have a winning personality.  A good thing, too, in this ugly economy!  But he’s spreading himself just a little too thin, in my opinion.  Tell him (if you truly mean it) you have no problem with his being popular and social, but when you are so blatantly excluded in these relationships, it only proves that he wants to be your boyfriend, AND a ladies man.  Keep your eyes and ears open, and let him know you won’t be taken for a fool.