Dear Miss Emily:

I am very confused.  I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 yrs now along with my 1yr old beautiful daughter which I adore so much. The problem is that I don't want to be with my girlfriend, anymore, because of our past arguments. In the beginning of our relationship, everything was going so well and, forget about it, I was "In Love."  As time went by, my lady and I would have a lot of arguments out of nowhere. Mainly because of certain things that I didn't like, and other factors. The point is that every time we had an argument, she would say hurtful things. Things that a woman shouldn't tell her partner. She would also disrespect me a lot and even wanting to hit me.  It came to a point that I was already falling out of love and not wanting to be with her. So when I was about to go on with my life, that very same day, she tells me she was pregnant. So I didn't leave her.  She was already 3 weeks pregnant.  So I'm with her.  I love my daughter and am sticking by her side because of my daughter. The only thing is that I don't feel anything for my girl anymore. I love her because she is the mother of my kid, but the love that I'm suppose to have for her is out the window. I feel so depressed inside! I don't tell her anything so I won't hurt her, but I'm losing it! Everyday that passes by, I just want to be away from her life. Now she became a better person. But my feelings aren't there anymore. What should I do? Please help. Thanks so much.

------------------Miss Emily’s advice---------------

If you are absolutely, without a doubt, unequivocally sure that you do not love this woman, and there is no hope, and I mean no hope for things to turn around, then I would see a lawyer to know your rights as a parent.  And I’ll tell you why.  You must have all your ducks in a row.  Knowledge is power. When she is told that you no longer want to be her partner, from her past behavior of saying hurtful things and her desire to smack you, you will have to be prepared to stand up for what you intend to do, and keep your emotions in check.  She may threaten you, “You will never see your daughter, again,” or something to that affect, and you have to be prepared to not buckle under these threats.  What choice do you have?  You’re a big boy, presumably.  You have a child.  But you are not required to spend your life in a loveless relationship because you made some thoughtless choices in your past.  But you must be willing to raise and help support you daughter and, from what you have written, I believe she will be your top priority.  Now, after me writing all of this, you think that maybe, just maybe, some of your feelings come from depression and your inability to be objective about your present circumstances, see a doctor.  He or she may be able to prescribe something to bring you out of this fog, in order to guide you in the right direction.