DEAR MISS EMILY:

I AM SO CONFUSED.  I HAVE THIS FRIEND.  I JUST KNEW RECENTLY THAT SHE HAD A CRUSH ON ME  FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS WE SPENT AS BEST FRIENDS. NOW THAT I KNOW, I FEEL THAT I AM SO CONFUSED. I THINK I HAVE A CRUSH ON HER TOO. WE HAVE THE SAME GENDER, SO IT'S REALLY COMPLICATED. GIRL TO GIRL THING IS SO COMMON IN OUR SCHOOL. SHE IS CURIOUS IN THIS KIND OF THING, AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WANTED TO TRY IT WITH ME. IF I SAY THAT I ALSO WANT TO HAVE A GIRL TO GIRL RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, DOES IT MEAN THAT WE ARE ALREADY ON A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS MORE THAN A FRIEND?
Torn

Dear Torn:

Yes, no matter what gender, once you cross the sexual line it changes the relationship. I know it's common for girls to experiment in this way, and I would never pass judgment.  I think a heart-to-heart with her would be the best approach, before you get into anything sexual. You can't "un-ring" a bell.  It does not mean, however, you can't stay friends if things don't work out in that area, but open communication along the way is paramount.. Like all intimate relationships, maturity is a factor in keeping things neat and tidy. Trust is also an issue. If you are not ready to face all the facets of this kind of relationship, I'd wait until I was pretty sure this is what I really wanted.