Dear Miss Emily

I've been going out with my boyfriend for 3 months now.  We love each other, but he's so confusing sometimes – like he doesn't call that often and never texts me unless I text him first.  There's so many times where we've threatened to break up with each other. Some of the main causes are because he doesn't show me enough attention, because he's going to go to a college out of town, so we won't really be "together" and because he blames me for problems he's having in his own personal life. I love him so much, but I just get so aggravated because sometimes its like he doesn't even want to be with me, and I don't know how to handle that. Its super confusing,. and I've sacrificed a lot for him. We both lost our virginity to each other.  I've sacrificed more because he always asks me to ditch my family to do stuff with him, but if I ever ask him to ditch doing something, he starts freaking out and getting mad and that hurts. New Year’s is a pretty big deal at my house. We have traditions we do every year, but he asked me to go to el paso with him for a whole week and miss New Year’s with my family.  I asked him to stay, and he got mad. I ended up going, and I missed spending time with my family.  I tell him I'm going to break up with him, but he says he’ll change because he loves me and he wants this to work. I don't know what to do.  I love him. I want this to work, I just don't think its possible for him to change, and that fact alone is very frustrating.  What do I need to do?
Fed Up

-----------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

What you need to do is stop what you are doing: In other words, don’t beg, and don’t nag.  Now don’t get me wrong,  I think this boyfriend of yours sounds like someone who wants a dog rather than a girlfriend.  But you are not going to have a decent relationship with him if all you ever do is point out that he’s not fulfilling your needs.  No self-respecting girl will put herself in a position to sacrifice all that she holds dear, in order to please a boy.  If you do that, you lose sight of who you are, and end up living vicariously through him. You’ve only been together three months, and you sound like two old married people who have been together sixty years!  Lighten up, will you?  Do what you think is important in your life, and if he’s not on board, don’t sacrifice it only to feel resentful.  Perhaps if you show some independence, he’ll take notice and stop treating you like an afterthought.  I know he cares for you, but he’s selfish.  I know you love him, but you are needy.  Selfish and needy are like oil and water – they don’t mix.  What are you going to do when he goes to college?  Drop out of school and become his live-in maid?  You get where I’m going with this – get some self-respect before you really make an fool of yourself.