Dear Miss Emily:

So to sum this up, my girlfriend broke up with me about 5 months into our relationship. She is 16 and I'm 19. She said she missed her friends and wanted space, and didn't want to be that girl that always hung out with her boyfriend. We never argued and she has never said anything like this before to me. So I tried to give her what she wanted, but the next day was New Year's and I knew we were gonna hang out. So after New Year's, she was mad because she said I didn't give her the space she wanted, but I wasn't sure how to do that because I wanted to have fun with her at this New Year's party.  So anyway, two days later she said we needed to talk, so I went over and she broke up with me because she said I wasn't giving her the space she wanted.  But I only had like 3 days t do that, before she broke up with me, and I'm sorry but I don't think that's a lot of time to give her what she wants. So now we have been broken up for about a month and, a day ago, we agreed to go out for lunch. We had a good time, I thought, but at the end of our lunch I told her that I think if we had a second chance, our relationship could be even stronger because we have both learned from our mistakes. I told her that if it doesn't work out then at least we'll know. She really didn't say anything about it, because she doesn't like talking about it. I just don't know what to do next.  I don't know how to prove to her that we can work it out. I am in love with this girl, and I have never felt this way about any other girl. I'm so confused on what to do next. Should I just not talk to her for a while, or should I ask her out for another lunch. And I don't know how to bring up talking about our relationship without me sounding like I'm just thinking about me and not us. I'm so confused and don't know what to do now. Please help. Thanks
Walking A Thin Line

-----------------Miss Emily's advice--------------

Dear Walking:

This is the problem:  You are wishing for something to happen, even though all signs lead to the opposite conclusion.  Your ex may not be completely capable of severing the ties she has with you, but she made it clear that she wants to be independent, and you are not listening.  I think the best way for you to handle this is to stop wishing, stop putting yourself in a needy position, and let her know that you are not going to curl up and die if you are not sucking in her oxygen.  Women like strong guys -- not wimps.  The more powerless you feel, the more powerful she becomes.  It doesn't seem like she wants to try again at this time.  Start living your life from a position of strength, and you'll avoid feeling victimized.