Dear Miss Emily:

I started a friends with benefits situation with a recent (4 months) widower.  He sought me out and, now, wants the relationship to be more serious.  I have reservations because of all of his widower baggage, and now I'm getting bored and annoyed with him.  He's a nice person, so I don't want to hurt him unnecessarily.  However, I know I should tread lightly because of his emotional state. How do I let him go gently?
In Too Deep

------------------------Miss Emily’s advice------------------------

Dear In:

Widowers often have a problem adjusting to life without the wife.  There are lots of funny one-liners about them, one attributed to the old geezer who is “looking for a nurse, or a purse.”  In fairness, people get lonely when their mates die, but men seem to want a bed partner sooner, rather than later.  Those horny devils!  I think you just have to be honest, no matter how difficult you think it will be.  And it is difficult, because no matter how much you believe you don’t want to hurt his feelings, it’s really more about having the guts to be honest and stand up to any criticism or, in his case, maybe beg you for a reassessment of all he has to offer.  Believe me, if he found someone to fill the void so quickly after his wife’s death, you’ll be just a footnote in the final chapters of his life!  Again, it’s hard, but the relief you feel when you walk away will be worth it.  Be kind, but be firm, and free him to find another lady-in-waiting.