Dear Miss Emily:

I am in a live in type relationship for about a year.  He's been married 3 times.  I have major trust issues due to my past marriage.  How do I get past this, and not apply them to him.  I am also a worrier, mainly because he drinks.

----------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------

Dear Nervous:

It's hard to start with a clean, mental state of mind the second time around.  So many of us drag our old baggage with us, and don't even attempt to unpack, so to speak.  In general, I think it's natural to trust someone until you find something verifiable that is not trustworthy.  But in your case, the drinking is a problem, of course.  In terms of trust, alcoholics are untrustworthy people, because you cannot depend on them in some of the most important ways that keep a relationship sound.  If he's been married 3 times, now I'm nervous!  Your reasons for lack of trust and worry are probably valid.  To be truthful, I'm wondering if I trust your choice in men!  In your situation, I would take it a day at a time, keep your ears and eyes open, and avoid finding excuses for any of his bad behavior.