Dear Miss Emily:

Objective advice would be really helpful right now.  I had been dating my boyfriend for 6 months (he’s 21, and I’m 22), before the time came to go overseas for a university exchange program.  I was happy to go, but sad at the same time as I planned to be gone for 6 months. The option has now come up to fly home at the 3 month mark and make it back in time for my boyfriend's 21st birthday.  I would really like to do it and, because of some fateful events, I can now afford it. He has always been the most perfect loving guy, and I want to do this for him. Am I being rash and silly in my choice to fly all the way home?  The whole thing is also complicated a little by the fact that I'm not sure how I feel all the time. I do love this man, but I'm not always sure I'm "in love" with him.  I figure I'm just scared, as I've never been in a relationship that's gone this well before.  I am so confused.  Just some general advice would be nice.
In Doubt

---------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------

Dear In Doubt:

If money is not an issue, and the long flight and time spent there is reasonable, I would go, because you make a good case for it. You may be reconsidering your relationship with him, but the time together might reinforce your feelings one way or the other. The fact that you are questioning your commitment to him does not alter the fact that you care deeply for him, and showing up for his 21st would be a lovely surprise – not an acceptance to a proposal of marriage.  If in the end, this “perfect, loving guy” is right for someone else, don’t feel as if you have somehow failed. It simply would not be true. Enjoy this relationship until you are sure there is a reason to end it.