Dear Miss Emily:

Okay, so here goes.  I got out of a four-year  relationship about five months ago. It was one of those break ups, everyday type of relationships, where we had a lot of serious issues.  I have to honestly say that I am a better woman without him.  A couple of days ago, I literally turned the corner and ran into my ex boyfriend’s,  friend. He was going out with his friends to a bar and invited me and my friends to come along and, so, we went. The thing is, I always had a crush on him and, apparently, he and my ex are not really as close as I thought.  Any who, we exchanged numbers.  The next day, he calls me an we hung out. We had such an amazing time just talking to each other. We made out a little, but the highlights of our date was talking and getting to know each other. The day after that, he called, again, and we hung out.  But this time, in his room. One thing led to another and, well, we had sex . I know that you’re suppose to wait, but we just got caught up into the moment and he asked me if I wanted to have sex and I said yeah. The next day after that, we did not hang out but he did call me and we had a four hour conversation on the phone.  I mean, we talked about everything, life, love.  He said how much he really liked me and HE said that we had sex way too soon and, well, he wants to really get to know me so we shouldn't do anything sexual and we should wait. The thing is, it has been five days since, and we have NOT spoken.  He did text Merry Christmas, yesterday, and I the same. But I am so puzzled as to what happen, here. When he and I spoke, he said he really likes me and he wants to do "right" by me, because he knows how badly my ex treated me.  He said that he liked me a lot and could see himself really being with me.  I agreed with everything he said, but I don’t understand if we were hitting it off so well, why hasn't he called?  I haven't called him, and I am not going to. I guess I feel torn inside cause I feel rejected.  I do not regret doing anything with him.  It’s not about the fact that we had sex – that’s something I wanted to do.  It’s about confiding in me about certain things, and never calling me again that I am confused about!  My friend said that if he was really into me, he would have called, or at least text me to see how I was doing.  Your take on this is?
Left Wondering

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice---------------------

Dear Left:

It’s two days after Christmas and, by now, this problem might have resolved itself.  Christmas is a busy time, and not keeping in contact with you is not something to fret over. . . just yet.  I like the idea that he said you two should keep the heavy sex out of your relationship until you really get to know each other – although it would have been a smart idea to have realized this before anything happened.  Once you cross into carnal  territory, that past intimacy can muddy the waters and interfere with developing a solid base for a good relationship.  That said, too often, women hold themselves in suspended animation until a guy makes his next move.  If I were you, I’d call him and not wait for him to contact you.  He has expressed a deep interest in you, so why would you not assume that he is being honest?  Any success in this relationship will come from open communication with each other.  I don’t know if this guy is having second thoughts, but if he is, well, better to know now, than to twist in the wind always wondering what happened to the guy who told you he could really see himself being with you.  I think you do regret sleeping with him, although you may not admit it.  Because in the back of your mind (right or wrong), if he does have second thoughts about getting involved, you will always think you were being used, or a failure in the love-making department.