Dear Miss Emily:

I'm currently "dating" two women who don't know about each other.  One lives in New York, about four hours from me, and the other woman is local.  The local woman is 4 years older than me and has a 9-year old son.  The New Yorker is two years younger, divorced, and kid-free.  I, too, am divorced with a 4-year old.  If everything were equal and they were both here, I think I'd be with the New Yorker.  However, that's obviously not the case.  I'm really stressed out about what to do.  I'll take any advice I can get.  Thanks.

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice------------------

Dear Two-timing:

You really feel lousy about yourself, don’t you?  It’s that damn conscience!  I understand how easy it is to get into a situation like this.  It can be ever-so satisfying.  It’s stressful, but the movie-like quality of it is also provocative.  Choice #1:  Your feelings are shifting to one woman, and that’s the New Yorker.  It’s not the ideal circumstance, being four hours away from each other (and winter is coming up), but your gut is telling you to take it further with N Y.  You muster the courage to cut local loose – telling her you just met someone who lives out of town and you want to spend some time with her.  You don’t have to confess that you’ve been pollinating elsewhere. You are punishing yourself by the stress you are under, so it’s not necessary to let it out-of-the-bag that you’ve been a cad. You know that already.  Choice #2:  You are the type of guy who wants attention, likes to go out on the spur-of-the-moment with a lady on your arm, and love to have a warm body next to you on those cold winter nights (with or without the children), and those would be the reasons for choosing local.  Refer to Choice #1 for help on what to tell New Yorker.  Hey, you already knew I'd give you this advice, didn't you?