Hi Miss Emily:

 I am in a bit of a situation.  I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 ½  years. He moved to Tennessee from Missouri to live with me.  Well, about 4 months ago we split up, and he still lives with me.  It feels awkward with him being here.  I still don't feel right dating other men, or even looking for other men to date.  But because of the money situation a the present time, he can't afford to move out.  I am really not happy, and neither is he, but I don't know what to do or say to make things easier.  I am too goodhearted to just tell him to get out, because I know he has nowhere else to go... so, do you have any suggestions on what I can do?  Thanks in advance for your help.
Too Close For Comfort

----------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Too Close:

This situation is tedious because there is this history with him (lingering like a black cloud) and no future.  Oh, sure, it can be a real hoot if you’re watching it in a sitcom but, in reality, it’s just plain sad.  In time, these things usually work themselves out, but it’s a matter of how much more you can take without the stress causing health problems.  I think you should sit down with him and hammer out what he will need, financially, to get him into his own place and how he plans to do it.  If it’s at all possible, loan him some money to expedite his departure, because it’s worth it for your peace of mind. It is also crucial that you set a date for him to achieve this goal.  Lose the guilt about seeing other men and start living your life, again.  Once he sees that you have moved forward and carrying on with your life as a single person, it will probably spur him on to do the same.  I know, he left Tennessee to be with you, and you probably feel responsible for him.  But it didn’t work out, and it’s senseless to dwell on the past, as well, enable him.  Be kind, but be firm.  Enjoy the holidays and get involved with outside the home activities to pass the time.