Dear Miss Emily:

My girlfriend and I have been having some problems, and my gut led me to snooping on her email; only to find an apology email to a good friend of mine, telling him how she is sorry for what happened the night before and for being childish and putting him in an uncomfortable situation, and that there is no reason for them to tell me because it would only hurt me.  The email is a little vague, but I'm sure something happened.  How do I confront her about the night without telling her I snooped?  Also, we've recently decided to take some space from each other in hopes of eventually getting back together.  Should I just leave this whole situation alone, or should I confront her and if so how?  Thanks.
Out Of The Loop

----------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Out:

I wouldn’t confront her on this, because you would have to concoct a lie, and it could, unwittingly, involve your innocent good friend.  Nothing happened, probably because this friend has the right definition of trust, when your girlfriend lost sight of it. You two are putting some space between the relationship for good reason – this being one of them.  Let things play out as they will.  If she’s interested in pursuing other men, now is the time for her to do so without having to cover her tracks. You may not be ready to let go, completely, but it's time for a heart-to-heart with her.  Tell her that, more than anything (now you two have gone your separate ways for a while), honesty is crucial in deciding your future together.  Reassure her that you are emotionally strong and would appreciate truth over deception – and you will, likewise, promise to be forthcoming with her. Lying serves no purpose, and it only stands to prolong what may be the inevitable, muddying the waters, needlessly.