Dear Miss Emily:

I have known this woman for about 7 years or so.  About 5 years ago, she got married and now has two children. We would talk a little bit, but not so much because she had one those very "over protective" husbands. Well, her husband cheated on her and therefore she left him and filed for divorce. Now, during the process of her divorce she has been very active in talking to me. She would, on numerous occasions, ask me to come over and spend time and cuddle with her. Well I finally decided to go over and see her. We hung out at her place and we watched TV and cuddled and then she kissed me. At first I was shocked but, then, I just went with it. Well ever since then I have gone over a couple of more times and we would just cuddle and keep each other company. Basically, it's all innocent stuff. After all this, I really think I am now attracted to her, but now she is going through her stage of trying to find herself and not wanting to be with anyone for a while. Currently I find it a lot harder to spend time with her, because she is going through her finding herself stage. We talk almost everyday, but yet I feel distant. I am trying to figure out what to do. I really like her, but I want to respect her space at the same time. How long do I wait? That is if I even should. Would you have an idea what she is thinking or going through? I am trying to convince myself that the divorce she just went through has messed her up, but then I say why is she wanting my company and then lately has limited it?  I am trying to figure out who is more confused her or me. Thank you.
Waiting In The Wings

---------------------------Miss Emily’s advice--------------------

Dear Waiting:

I think this type of situation requires time.  When a spouse cheats, and it ends in divorce, all kinds of emotions come into play.  Rejection and pride factors are big issues, and they don’t go away overnight.  It’s not uncommon for the divorce procedure to end and the injured party decides to take the cheater back, especially when children are involved. I’m sure she’s lonely, but she sounds like a person who is being cautious, understands her emotional roller coaster, and that’s a good thing for you!  No doubt she realized that she comes with baggage. You would be wise not to push it.  Maintain a friendship and be patient.  Get together with her in places where you can explore feelings but it won’t end up in the nearby bedroom.  If you cross the threshold prematurely, you could get hurt.  I think she’s aware that could become a danger zone.