Dear Miss Emily:

I am a 23 year old female, and I’m crazy about this guy. We started seeing each other a couple of months ago, and the relationship has been rocky since – on and off and what not. We recently hung out, and I just can’t get enough of him!  I’m scared that all of the problems we’ve had in the past are making it hard for him to want to be with me the way he was when we first got together. I just don’t know what to do because he is always on my mind.  No matter what he does or says, I cant keep away.  My question is, I don’t know how to just stay calm and focused because I feel that way he’ll make a commitment, eventually.  Then again, I'm not sure and it’s the scariest feeling not being with him.  Please help or give whatever advice you can on the situation.
In Hot Pursuit

---------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Hot:

You have to figure out why the relationship was rocky in the first place, and what part you might have played in it.  After reading your letter, I think you might be somewhat clueless on the subject.  If that’s the case, it’s going to be hard to correct your behavior.  Now if he’s just a disagreeable type, and when you say black, he says white, you are better off without him.  But you don’t want to believe me on this score, so I’ll sum up my advice like this: He might not want a relationship at all, and you are beating a dead horse.  But as a last ditch effort, think before you speak to him, measure your words wisely, and bite your tongue before you say something that makes you look like a needy woman who would do anything to get a man.  Men like women who are self-confident and have interests unrelated to a relationship.  Independence is the key word here, and if you lack much of what I suggest, watch people who appear self-confident and see if they project something you lack.  Don’t be hard on yourself, you might just have a little growing-up to do.  Let me know the outcome.