Dear Miss Emily:

I am trying to get back with the girl I truly love. We dated about 4 years ago, and I broke up with her because my parents split up. It was a hard time, and I spoke out of anger toward my parents, not her. Now 4 years later, she is with a guy that abuses her, intimidates her and is extremely controlling. She calls me from time to time when she thinks he won’t find out, tells me that she wants to get away from him and she loves me and wants to be with me. This guy has control of every aspect of her life. What do I do as a level headed person?
Eager to help

----------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Eager:

When you tell me this guy is, basically, a loose cannon, it’s only natural for me to tell you not to get caught in the crossfire.  I see why she’s reaching out to you, hoping you can be her white knight and get her out of the mess she’s in.  But it’s a lot to expect from an innocent bystander, no matter the emotional attachment.  The best thing you can do is counsel her on finding a way to get out of this relationship, but keep a low profile.  There are plenty of places she can get help, where it doesn’t drag you into a hostile environment that jeopardizes your well being or hers. You don’t know if things would be good if you got together with her, because her damsel in distress image might be clouding your judgment.  If you’ve got your head in "la-la land" about how this is going to turn out, bring your head back down to earth.  She may be special, but leave nothing to chance when deciding what to do.