Dear Miss Emily:

I have been in the field artillery in the U.S.M.C for 6 1/2 years, and have been promoted to a staff sergeant.  I love my job.  It changed my life completely, but since 2004, I was attracted to a particular U S marine.  I didn’t have the confidence to ask him out, because  he was a higher rank than me (I didn’t want to show any sign of disrespect) but, in the end, he asked me out and we have now been together for 14 months.  He says he would give up the world for me, but if only that were actually true.  I can see in his eyes that he loves his job in every aspect.  He is very proud of what he has achieved, and I am too, but I want to settle down with him. I’m afraid he wouldn’t want to give up his job. I wouldn’t leave the CORP unless I were in a very serious relationship but the thing is, I am!  How should I ask him? Should I ask him? Should I leave it a bit longer?
Ready For The Next Step

-------------------Miss Emily’s advice---------------

Dear Ready:

I assume you can’t settle down as long as you are both in the service, but I am not clear why that is the case.  But assuming this is true, I understand why you are hesitant to ask him if he'd leave a job he loves.  When someone says they'd  “give up the world for you” watch out!  I’m sure he means well, but when it comes to testing this statement, that’s when you can expect to hear the exceptions or witness a case of amnesia.  And there should be exceptions if he has any sense of self-worth.  “Give up the world” infers that a person would sacrifice everything for someone else. The problem?  It leaves little for themselves, and little of themselves.  I see nothing wrong with asking certain questions about how he sees his future and your place in it.  If he loves you, it should open up a conversation that can answer many questions. And if he is willing to leave something he loves, it better be that he has something he loves to go to, otherwise, the real world has a tendency to rear its ugly head and rain on, once happy, parades.  Communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship.  If you are unsure that this is the right time to press this issue, I’d wait a while longer until you trust him to be receptive and, hopefully, honest.