Dear Miss Emily:

 I found out that my boyfriend still talks to his ex who he's known as a friend for 7 years.  Around August, they got together for about a week and then my boyfriend broke up with her and went back to me.  Now I’ve been back with my bf for the last month, but I can’t feel positive that he will stay with me, since he still talks to his ex, and she still likes him. Maybe he still likes her too! I’m really worried that he might break up with me this time, and go back to her.  I don’t know what to do because I keep thinking about it.  I don’t wanna feel this way anymore, because it’s gonna get in a way of our relationship.  Is there a way I can find out if he really wants to be with me or her?? please help!!!!!!!
Left in the Dark

-------------------------Miss Emily’s response--------------------

Dear Left:

I don’t blame you for feeling insecure about whether he will go back to her, because he’s fickle and seems to be playing on both sides of the fence.  Trust is earned, and his behavior is the strongest indicator of his commitment to you. If he’s not willing to cut off contact with his ex, you have your answer. He's not really serious about putting you in first place, and your time with him will, legitimately, center on doubt.  You could ask him for the truth, but I'm betting he can't be trusted to give it to you, nor are you, at this stage, ready to believe him.