Dear Miss Emily:

I want to be more then just friends with this guy I've known for 2 years. When we're together we act like boy/girl friend. My story is more complicated then this. I have 2 kids with this other guy that actually fought my friend in high school.  I think that is the reason why my friend and I are still just friends, but he really didn't say that was the reason. I don't know what to do ‘cause I know my friend is who I want to be with. I can't explain what he makes me feel. When we're together I feel complete and I couldn't imagine my life without him. I've tried to stop talking to him but doesn't work. Please help me!
Wishing Things Were Different

--------------------------------Miss Emily’s advice----------------------------

Dear Wishing:

I have had many letters that are similar.  There is the idea that what makes a good best friend is the fact that you don’t get into an emotional, sexual relationship because that could blow the whole thing. But you know, I’m a firm believer in throwing it out there, in a subtle way, in order to solve the problem.  I have given this advice countless times: Make the suggestion in just the right way.  “You know, sometimes I think you’re the man of my dreams.”  Or something that conveys a thought, a fleeting idea and, then, wait for the response.  If it’s not what you want to hear, but a reply to something you have thought about, endlessly, it settles it.  Your reply, if his reply is in the negative,  “You know you are so right.  Why even go there.  We have a great friendship, and that’s good enough for me.”  Act as if nothing happened.  Don’t show embarrassment or disappointment.  Once you have your answer, you can carry on as usual, licking your wounds in private.