Dear Miss Emily:

Last year, I had sex with my best friend. I was intoxicated at the time. We ended up fighting later that night. We did not speak until September 19th of this year. Since then, we have fooled around twice. Both times we've been intoxicated/high. I don't know if he is just using me or if he is truly into me. What can I do to find out?

--------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------

Dear Wondering:

You have to stop thinking that you were being used in the first place, because that makes it seem as if you were suddenly rendered powerless by this guy, and that seems so 1950s -- intoxicated or not!  If you're interested in him, the next time you get together, do it in a place where there's no temptation to get high and have sex.  Try to bring back what you had with him before this happened, and exhibit some self-confidence.  If you can't do that, feeling used is more about your low self-esteem than what motivated him. Keep in mind, he's just a guy, not some supernatural being who leads helpless ladies down the road to carnal ruin.  At least, I hope not!