Dear Miss Emily:

I started seeing this guy in May, but we were both going to school in different cities in September.  During the summer we had lots of fun (he is friends with my best friend, so she would always tell me when he told her something like he was really happy with me). We never made anything official, but when we both moved we still texted at first.  Then the texting slowed down, so I sent him an email asking what the summer was for him, because I really like him – but he never replied, even after I sent him a text, and I haven't heard from him since.  The thing is, the week before we both left he would do things and say he was trying to make me mad so I wouldn't miss him, so I don't know if that's what he is trying to do now.  Right after he left, he sent me a text asking if I missed him. At Thanksgiving, we are both going home so I want to talk to him then and see what's going on, but I don't want him to ignore me, again.

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice----------------------

Dear Hurting:

I think his behavior is selfish beyond reason.  It seems he doesn't want to continue a relationship with you, because he’s settled in to his new life and, apparently, your time with him the last few months was on loan.  Do not contact him, again. But if he contacts you, I’d be wary of his intentions unless he can verbalize his true feelings. Making you mad so you won’t miss him – yet texted you to see if you missed him?  These are nothing more than conflicting messages, double talk and, I think, coming from an insensitive jerk.  The adage, “You have to be cruel to be kind.” would only apply, here, if you had made an absolute pest of yourself, and time-after-time you were too thick-headed to understand he does not want to continue any form of a relationship.