Dear Miss Emily:
 
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months now.  Everything is going great, but we have one issue:  He doesn’t want me going out to the club/bar without him.  I have no intentions of meeting other guys, or anything like that.  I don’t even care if he goes out without me.  It’s just the fact that if I go out without him, we won’t be together.  I wanted to go see my friends at a college, and he wouldn't let me go because there might have been a possibility of us going to the bar.  I don’t really think it’s fair to me that he has to control me like that.  I think he is either worried that I will cheat on him, or get too drunk. I would never do one of those things, because I really love him.  I just don’t know what to do.
Don’t Like The Control Factor

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------------

Dear Don’t:

I’m not for anyone controlling another person, but I’m not surprised by his possessive nature. It takes an extremely secure individual to accept their mate's desire for freedom within the confines of a relationship.  If you want to visit friends, you should be able to go anywhere you want without unreasonable demands attached. I would tell him this: "I have no intention of cheating on you, because you are everything to me.  And I will not be told what I can or cannot do, because I believe trust is the core of a good relationship.  If the bottom line is an issue of trust, anything I tell you could filter through your lack of faith in me."  Stand by your conviction, because if you are honest about your intentions to socialize with friends in a bar setting, I see no reason to back down unless you are afraid you'll lose him.  And if that’s the case, your complaining that he controls you, falls on deaf ears.