Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend broke up with me after we've been together for over one year.  Our relationship was long distance from the start. He said he couldn't handle not having me physically by his side.  He wanted me to move where he is, because he said I have a higher chance of getting a job since I'm done with school and he isn't. I recently graduated from college, and I'm financially unstable. I'm looking for a full time job and studying for an exam that will qualify me for a job where I currently live.  My ex-boyfriend is not working at the moment.  He's financially unstable, and he's still taking classes at a community college, so he could transfer to a school where I currently live.  The problem is, it's going to take him a couple of years to do so.  I asked him to move in with me once I get the job, but he says he doesn't want to have to financially rely on me.  He said there's still a chance for us to get back together in the future.  What can I do about it?  Should I move?

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------

Dear Undecided:

I wouldn’t make the move.  If the relationship were really solid,  the status quo wouldn’t be that difficult to maintain.  But it seems to be all or nothing with him, right now.  I’m not crazy about the idea of you pulling up stakes to be with someone who doesn’t realize (or does he?) that, either way, you getting a job in your town, or his, could make him financially dependent on you if he’s in school and you’re working.  I believe that in your heart you are afraid to move because you don’t want to risk what you have for the unknown.  It’s always a bad decision to move to another town for one person, unless you are absolutely positive that it’s worth giving up your current plans, and friends.  The future may be a long way off.  Circumstances change.  If something works out down the road, great!  If not, at least you won't be moving back to your town with a heavier heart.