Dear Mis Emily:

Hey, I am 18, and I am female.  I was dating “J” for about a year and then found out that he cheated on me with a friend. We broke-up for about a summer, then got back together. When we were getting back together, he was moving to his brother’s about an 1 ½ away. He ended up cheating on me there, and I never found out (but still knew). He moved back home to be with me, because it was too hard on our relationship. Then we ended up moving in together.  After that, it got bad.  We fought every day, but we stayed because we were in love. We broke up and moved out and, here, about 3-4 months later, I want him back  I miss him like crazy, and have the whole time!  I love him sooooooo much.  I really have no idea what to do.  I have a new boyfriend, but it’s not the same.  Help!
Can’t Move On

---------------Miss Emily’s advice---------------

Dear Can’t:

First, you should end it with your present boyfriend because it’s completely unfair to him.  Leading him on is similar to what your ex did to you. You and “J” had an unsettling, untrustworthy, incomplete relationship and you refuse to realize that it is no longer worth your effort.  Whatever chemistry you had, it wasn’t enough, and it would be futile to go after him, again, only to repeat history.  It’s easy to make promises, but if you can’t follow through, it might be because you just can’t do it.  People fight in relationships for many reason. Two major reasons would be . . . they either want to force their reality on the other party and refuse to compromise, or they were never meant to be together for the long haul.  Be honest with yourself.  Figure out if either of these obstacles apply to you and “J,” and if anything would change if you were to find yourself chasing after a dream that, once again, turns out to be a nightmare.