Dear Miss Emily:

I'm hoping you might be able to help me. At the beginning of high school, I dated this guy for a short stint. He was amazing, and some could say my first love. But as I said a short stint. I moved away during my sophomore year, and him being 4 years older, enlisted into the Navy. We've stayed in contact for the past 5 years. Plus every time he’s on leave and back home, I drive 3 hours just to spend those few weeks with him.  I've been doing this twice a year for the past 5 years. Yet, we have both had our relationships with different people during this time apart; maybe it was growing up or a growing apart period. Yet, on our last mini-vacation, he surprised me by telling me he has been discharged and will be moving back home, which is still 3 hours away from my life.  He's been telling me for the past couple of years that he wants to be with me, yet I could never have been with him being so far away.  It scared me.  But now he’s asking for me to move with him! Does he mean what he says, or am I just his one fling that never died, but will end once he's back home?
OBLIVIOUS!!!

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice------------------

Dear Oblivious:

I believe that you have doubts about any commitment at this time, and you should decline his invitation.  Maybe I’m reading between the lines, but it seems to me that your life is too important where you live to abandon it, and he’s not a big enough draw to make you enter a future of uncertainly.  No where in your letter do you state that you love him.  Perhaps he is a habit that’s been hard to break, and vice-versa.  Moving in with him, before you are sure that he is a man worth sacrificing your roots, plants you in soil untested, and to bring your words to present tense, it scares me!