Der Miss Emily:

Over two years ago, I met the girl of my dreams . . love at first sight. We both knew that we will spend forever together, raise a family and live happily ever after. We were so close with one another.  Last night, she confessed about cheating on me.  It happened when she was in her lowest time of need. Her parents were getting divorced, she lost contact with her brother, she was failing school, she lost her pet and, to top it off, we were not doing so well. She told me she needed time to her self, to find herself, again, and realize her interest and place in life. That was many, many months ago. I couldn't even remember it. She was with her friend when this guy form school approached her. At the time, she was engulfed with sorrow and depression.  He brought her over to his house, and he reassured her that she would be all right and that his parents were in a divorce as well . . . she saw a familiar face and, somehow, found comfort and they had sex. She tells me that she messed up, that she can’t even remember it, and that she loves me and only wants us to grow stronger. But I need help. My initial reaction was simply, nothing. I'm unfazed, scared, confused, and miserable. I cant cry, as much as I want to.  I start, but then I feel like my emotions are washed away. I'm worried that I'm bottling up all these emotions and one day I'm just going to collapse.  I need to know how to release these feelings and help get over this. I LOVE Her, so much!  I'm in the worst state of mind that I’ve ever been in. How can I learn to forgive and forget and grow stronger, and is that the best thing to do? I can't think any happy thoughts at the moment. I'm in complete shock. Please share some advice to help me. I need motivation, and reason to keep on committing to this relationship. Thank you for listening.
Letting Go Of The Past

---------------------Miss Emily advice-----------------

Dear Letting Go:

I have to assume that the reason your girlfriend told you about her past indiscretion, is because it was eating at her and she could no longer keep this from the man she loves.  Confession was good for her soul but, apparently, yours took a hit.  Those who keep this kind of thing from their committed partner, rationalize that it’s their business, and why rock-the-boat?  It’s deceitful, shallow, and selfish.  But what else is new?  It takes courage to confess such a thing, and my hope is that she told you for all the right reasons. Your ego has been badly bruised, but there is a way to heal if you truly start to believe what you have told me in your letter: This was a one-time failing during a difficult time in her life, and you and she were not doing well.  If you truly love her as much as you say, you will “flip the switch” and let it go, sooner rather than later.  Put your energy into keeping a wonderful relationship intact. Show her that you are strong and noble in your acceptance of this "one low moment in time."  If you dwell to the point of obsession and desire to punish her( or even the score), you will end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy – where you will make yourself so miserable over this (continuing to believe that somehow you had failed to satisfy her), she’ll see a broken, unforgiving man who will give her every reason to seek greener pasture.