Dear Miss Emily:

My fiance and I have been together for 1 year.  Ever since we met, he has always talked about his ex- fiancee whom he broke up with 3 years ago. .He checks up on her without telling me and, as time goes by, I'm finding out new things that he hid from me about her. I was wondering if you could give me advice on how to make him forget about her?
Need To Be Number One

---------------------Miss Emily’s advice--------------------

Dear Need:

I don’t know if there is anything I can say that will get him to forget about his ex.  In other words, I’d need to be giving him advice. One thing I do know is that I would not set a date to walk down the isle with this man unless you are sure (as you can possibly be) that you are number one in his life and he loves you and only you.  Often times, people lie (and this is not an excuse), because of the reaction they will get if they tell the truth – they don’t want to hear someone go ballistic if they can avoid it, nor be told they shouldn’t feel or do what they want.  Sadly, telling the truth, and standing behind it takes a great deal of character.  If he has contact with this woman and wishes to maintain a friendship, he should let you know, now, and only you can decide if this is acceptable or not. Also, tell him that you would prefer that he concentrate on his future with you and try to put the past to rest. They broke-up, I'm sure, for a good reason. Clear this up before you marry, or your trust in him will always be in question.