Dear Miss Emily:

Although I never had a close relationship with my parents (I am an only child), they are now in a home for the elderly, and they depend on me to visit regularly.  How do I move beyond the resentment I had in the past for them, and give with an open heart?
Uneasy

------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------


Dear Uneasy:

Life's cycle seems to put children in a parenting role, once their parents reach
old age.  Be to them, the parent you thought they should have been to you.  Most people mellow with age, and you will find that all can be forgiven once you develop a new, kinder attitude toward them.  Unless you were horribly  abused as a child, forget their less than stellar childrearing methods and learn to appreciate them on a new level.  Ask them to tell you stories about their youth -- World Wars -- the Depression.  Make them feel as if their experiences were special, and listen as if it were the first time you had heard the story, no matter how often they repeat them. This should pay off in spades. They will appreciate your efforts, and you will be rewarded.  And remember, no matter what happened before, it will never be as important as making peace with them ...and with yourself.