Dear Miss Emily

I’m 20 years-old, and I've been in a relationship for about a year-and-a-half . The guy I’m with loves me like crazy. The problem is that I don’t know if I love him back or not. When I’m around him, I try to find any way to get rid of him,  and when he is not around, or we are apart, I keep thinking of him and try to win him back. I really don’t know if I even likes him or not, or should I stay with him or leave him. I'm leaving for another country to finish my studies, and we will be apart by distance. He doesn’t want me to even have contact with any other guys during my studies.  May you please give me the right advice that I should follow? Thank You.
Down To The Wire

---------------------Miss Emily’s advice--------------------

Dear Down:

I don’t know whether you’ll do this, because it takes a lot of character to admit the truth about a situation and act on it.  I believe you have a seed of insecurity which creates a need to be adored.  This guy satisfies that need.  Adoration is great in a relationship, but it’s a crappy relationship when it’s one-sided. You don’t really respect him, because you have allowed him to “love you like crazy” and, I’m guessing, he asks for little in return. He shares some responsibility in allowing this, so don’t beat yourself up about it.  But now you are faced with a decision on how to handle the only request he makes of you while you are off to a land far away.  I think it’s unrealistic for him to make such a request, and it would be a lie if you were to tell him that you will honor it.  This is the perfect time to tell him that you want to set new rules for your relationship.  Remain friends, keep in touch, and see where things go from there.  He may not take this well, but that is not the issue.  It would be wrong, and meanspirited of you if you were to deceive him any longer. Believe me, once you start telling the truth, it’s easier to do in the future.  Realize this at twenty, and you’ll save yourself a lot of grief in the future.