Hello Emily:
 I am 17 years old, and I've been dating my boyfriend a little over 4 months now. Before we started going out, I found out from his friend that he did drugs. I am the type of person who really does not like that, I have strong beliefs against it.  So after finding that out, I was really hesitant.  When I finally said yes to him, we talked about it.  I told him how I felt and he reassured me that he was over that stage and that he didn't plan on doing it again. I also warned him that if he did do it, again (while we are dating), and I find out, I couldn’t be with him anymore, because I just do not want to associate with that. Does that sound selfish?  It always worries me whenever he goes off and hangs out with his friends, because I've never met most of them, but I know they all do it because he told me. Well, recently the conversation came up and he told me that he has been tempted to do it but he wouldn't. That stressed me out a lot so I asked him if he's done it since we've been going out...and he admitted to doing it once around the first month we dated. He also said that it made him really depressed because he remembered what I told him, but he did it anyway.  My problem is that I am a really forgiving person. I know I told him that I can't be with him if that situation occurred, and I was 100% serious when I said this. But now I'm not sure what to do.  He didn't lie to me and he said that he felt bad about it, and I love him. It was at the beginning of our relationship, so should I just let it go? However I can't help but worry because if he did it once then he might do it again. I'm pretty sure I might just end up forgiving him and letting it go, but then I feel disappointed in myself, like I’m just throwing my beliefs out the window.  Am I making a big deal over nothing? Am I being selfish? I'm really confused on what to do.

-----------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------

Dear Confused:

I’m guessing your boyfriend smokes marijuana, am I correct?  Because if he were doing anything else, I would tell you to run for the hills.  Marijuana smoking among teens is pretty common. It’s illegal, but that doesn’t seem to worry the huge population that indulges in it.  You had a principle concerning this matter and, now, you are asking me if you’re making too much out of it. I know this: You can’t monitor your boyfriend’s whereabouts 24/7, and he is going to be tempted to smoke with his friends when they get together. It’s an easy thing to grab a joint if it’s available. I’m neither for or against smoking marijuana, but I know that if a person smokes pot, habitually, his or her level of energy can greatly diminish.  This is especially dangerous for teenagers who face the challenges of school and, possibly, college.  But that’s beside the point.  Remember, you went into the relationship with this guy’s reassurance that his drug days were over, and I have my doubts about that, and so do you.  I’m sure he’d appreciate you pitching your principle on this matter. And if you don't, I have a feeling his honesty concerning any future “tokings,” will evaporate knowing he may lose you.  If you stay with this guy, your trust in him may be tested many times.  It's up to you if the challenge seems worth it.