Hi Emily, I'm a 24 year old female and my dilemma is that I've been in this relationship for almost 2 years, and the worst thing happened.  One night we were fighting, and we were both drunk. I was acting crazy and he lost his patience and hit me.  I had him arrested. After a week, he got in contact with me, apologized and we spoke about it.  I forgave him.  I love him and that night was a big accident.  Well, now we want to  be together but we know how my family won't accept it, because they hate him for hitting me.  I love him and want a future with him, but I don't want to lose my family.  I feel when they find out, my parents will not accept it and kick me out of their house.  How can I make them see we belong together?
Knocked About

-----------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Knocked:

Well, you do have a problem.  No parent wants to see their child being clobbered by a boyfriend.  Being drunk is something of a red flag.  Alcohol often precedes abuse. Some women are most forgiving when it comes to being hit.  Personally, it would only take once, and I’d be gone before you could say Bob’s your uncle – but that’s just me.  I like my face and head and don’t want any damage done to it.  You’re 24, and you’ve made your bed, so to speak.  If you are determined to see this guy, get a job (if you don’t have one) and move out.  This gives you the opportunity to see your boyfriend without needing your parents' consent.  If they find out you are seeing him and still don’t approve, they might try to pull rank and tell you it’s either him or us, and you'll have to make a choice.  But if they were really  smart, they would stick by you in order to watch how this thing plays out -- to be around to comfort you if you ever get whacked, again – you know, like being seriously hurt and you need medical attention.  This may be his first and last time he’ll hit you.  But it's a big deal and you should know that.  The police were involved and he was arrested.  Now he has a record of assault.  Your parents are afraid that there may be more trouble down the line.  Parents are like that.  They have a tendency to want to protect the children they worked so hard to raise, and hope they will make the right choices for future success.  Cut them some slack.  It’s right that they are worried about your future with this man.  You almost blame yourself for the fact he hit you.  That, my dear, is the problem that you refuse to face. Many abused women say that they did something wrong and this is why they were hit.  For now, I'd table your need to get your parents to approve of him.  If he can consistently show he's a decent guy and this "hit" was a one-shot deal, time is the only healer.