Dear Miss Emily:

Okay, I'm totally confused about the relationship I'm in right now. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months, and the first couple of months were good and stuff.  I guess you can say it was the 'honeymoon' stage where nothing really bothered us because we were happily together.  But as some of the months passed on, I've been feeling uneasy and pretty much not interested in him anymore. We were best friends before we started this, and I'm scared of breaking his heart because I feel that the love he gives to me, I can't give it back to him. As much as I want to, I just don't feel that way with him. Now I know that I should talk to him and stuff, but every time we get into a little argument, we always talk and he thinks he makes the whole situation better cause I don't say anything.  I mean, I should say something but he always puts the blame on me (which it usually is) and I just sit there quietly. Sometimes I just want to scream at him and say "Then why are you still with me if I do this, etc.?" It's so hard, I mean, I've been known as the nice girl at school and I just don't want to bring up breakup to the relationship. It breaks my heart if I break his. I mean, I care about him a lot. He’s my best friend. I'm going away to college, in August, and he's going to a different one. I feel that the distance will be the one that tears us apart, but I don't want it to happen like that. What's your advice to approach the situation now since there's time left?
Can’t Let Go

------------------------Miss Emily’s advice----------------------

Dear Can’t:

I think the reason why you accept this guy blaming you when you argue is because it lets you off the honesty hook.  It punishes you without having to get your hands dirty, so to speak.   This passive-aggressive behavior is typical of those who see themselves as the “nice one.”  But it is a gutless approach and, ultimately, punishes you as well as the other party.  Of course, you should sit him down and tell him that you don’t want to be in this type of relationship any longer. Your boyfriend bares some responsibility in this, as well.  He must sense that you are not truly committed to this relationship and knows the art of manipulation.  This weakness in him, paradoxically, gives him a great deal of power over you.  If you have any desire to maintain a friendship with this person, you owe it to both of you to settle it now and not wait for it to unravel into something bigger than it has to be.  Ditch your need for the “nice girl” image and do what’s right.  Once you have taken the leap, it will be easier to be kind, but honest in the future.  Tell him now, because if you carry out this behavior throughout your life, you will start blaming everyone else for your lack of getting what you want.  Of course, at the end of the day, it’s your call.