Dear Miss Emily:

Hi – I have written to you on 2 occasions and your advice has been invaluable.
I hope you remember me.  Just a quick re-cap.  When we last e-mailed, I had posed the question to him “would someone like me be the wrong kind of person?” to which he replied that he was flattered but wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, now, especially since his divorce was only finalized a couple of weeks ago. I have subsequently found out that he does have a girlfriend.  He met her very soon after he found out about his ex-wife's infidelity.  However, when we spoke, he told me that she is a rebound relationship and that he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and that’s why he’s with her.  I am not quite sure what to make of that.  Anyway, getting to the question I needed to ask you.  We have continued to sms each other,  however it has progressed into more sexually orientated sms’s (from his side).  He was quite complimentary about my “chest area” and said “they were lovely” and how he’d like to see them and how I should show them off more often.  I find his behavior quite bizarre, especially since he has a girlfriend.  Why do you think he would bother to ask me these questions?  Of course, as usual, he is full of compliments but once again, with him, that’s exactly where it starts and ends...!  Do you have any pearls of wisdom you could give me?  I don’t understand this man!

---------------------Miss Emily’s advice------------------

Dear Nonplused:

Ah yes, I remember your past e-mails, and I am happy that my advice has been beneficial to you.  But now, you are going to have to be clear in your own mind what this guy is all about.  I think any man who says his girlfriend is a rebound, but stays because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, is a liar – because he’s either lying to her or you.  I’m not crazy about guys who make comments about a woman’s breasts unless they are “on display” and begging for an opinion.  It’s low-class no matter how you slice it, and I think you should be offended.  This kind of banter is demeaning to women (although it’s fine for chickens) and is appropriate only in an intimate setting.  He’s not serious about anything other than wanting a reaction out of you and getting his jollies.  I remember him telling you, to paraphrase, “If the right guy came around, he’d be lucky to have you.”  Well, he isn’t it (he already told you that) and now we know all you need to know.  Next question?