Hi Emily,

I just got married a few weeks ago to a wonderful man who adores me. We had a beautiful wedding and, after two years together, the relationship is great. The problem is, I feel really horrible because I am the one who, about 8 months into the relationship, demanded that he ask me to marry him. Not only that, but I even told him the date I wanted him to ask me! I don't know why I did this, but I regret it so much. I keep thinking back to how I controlled the whole situation and completely took the romance out of it and it hurts really bad.  And he has told me that he regrets that I did that too, because he had it all planned out how he was going to ask me to marry him and I took that away from him. I am angry at myself and I don't know how to fix this. Please help. Thanks!

-----------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------------

Dear Regretful:

Rest assured, anyone reading this can relate to wishing they could “do it all over again” from day one.  Obviously, there is nothing you can do to change this, but the good news is that you realize it and have questioned your controlling ways.  But look, he let it happen.  If he had wanted it differently, he should have had the courage to say something about it.  Now he agrees that you took this away from him?  That’s convenient!  If you are happy together, get over it, and move on down the road. In the future, include him when making plans – you know, like baby plans!  It will build his emotional strength if he works with you when mapping out your future together, and it's even better if you two agree that this is how good relationships work.