Dear Miss Emily: I got married last year and my husband is an amazing human being who treats me with the most respect and loves me deeply. However, I often think about my first love...and by often I mean on a daily basis, and what his life is like now and, more importantly, what could have been. Now I know he is a scum bag who treated me horribly. I also know that we were both young and immature and now that we are both older, this wondering what could have been is creating a distance between my husband and me. I guess my question is.. is this normal? And if not, what can I do to overcome this obstacle? I really do love my husband and would really love some advice. Dreaming of the past -----------Miss Emily's advice----------- Dear Dreaming: I understand that you love your husband, but not with all of your heart and, as you know, that is the unfortunate truth. I doubt that "scum bag" has changed -- this type rarely morphs into something kinda wonderful, unless they have been struck by lightening and, by a miracle, have seen the error of their ways. Does he live in town? Can you figure out a way to meet him and find out what he is like, and who he has become in order to put this into perspective? I say this only because your obsessing over it is going to drive an even bigger wedge between you and your husband -- you know, the husband who trusted that you loved him, and only him when you two married. People marry for all sorts of reasons, and you married your husband because he treats you with respect and you appreciate the fact that he is an amazing human being. But that obviously isn't enough, nor the kind of man you think you need. I say need (for whatever reasons -- good or bad) because all women should want the attributes your husband possesses. Maybe you will always yearn for the bad guy -- the one who keeps you guessing whether they love you or are ready to dump you. And if that is what's at the bottom of this (despite you telling me that maybe your first love "frog" has turned into a prince) you are more than likely not going to be happy with your husband, now or ever.