Dear Miss Emily:

I’ve been dating this woman for about year. Everything has been terrific until, one day, I started to become a little suspicious about her secretive behavior. I looked at some text messages in her phone. She was texting a co-worker, calling him "sexy" saying she wants to hang out more and one was referring to a dream he had about her. She replied "that she needs to do something about that." I confronted her about it and she said it was nothing. Just flirting. She gave explanations, but I still feel betrayed. She said she ended the friendship with this person ( which I thought was strange) if it was only innocent. Am I over-reacting and ruining a very good relationship?
Nobody’s Fool

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice--------------------
Dear Nobody:

Unless you and she have an informal dating style, with the understanding that other romantic situations may present itself, and it’s all right to pursue additional playmates,  I’d say she’s double dipping – keeping all options open and, until now, thought she was clever in hiding it.  Harmless flirting happens, but “hanging out more” and  "I need to do something about that" sounds like an invitation and a sign that she's waiting for the right time and place. Her attraction to this man may, or may not be over. She might just be getting better at covering her tracks.  If trust is what you are looking for in a relationship, I think this woman has struck-out in this rather important category. If you cool it with her for a while, you’ll show her that you really are nobody’s fool.